Reaping What is Sewn, An Important life Lesson

There is a passage in the Bible that tells us that we reap what we sew. A common cliché that gives a similar message goes something like, “you’ve made your bed, now you have to lie in it.” A message that I have been giving as part of my speaking programs, business presentations, and advice given in general is also along the same vein. “Choices that we make now will always have some kind of consequences in the future, both good and bad.” There is an excellent book on this topic called “Choices” by Shad Helmstetter. Hypnotist and motivational speaker Marshall Sylver puts it another way; in five years (or ten, twenty, etc.), we are going to have either regrets or rewards based on our actions and decisions that we make today.

This past Sunday, I was given a sad and very personal example of the truth behind the concept mentioned above. Sometime around 8:15 in the evening of November 16, 2007, at a nursing home in Florida, my grandmother passed away. Except for a hospice worker who arrived about 20 minutes before she died, my grandmother died alone. Sadly, her being alone was expected and predicted by many in the family, especially by her daughter, my mom.

To say it in a nice way, my grandmother was not a very nice person. In honor of her memory, I will not go into the specific details of why. After all, she still was my grandmother. And in her defense, from what I understand, she was very much like her own mother.

Mom Mom as we called her, spent her adult life treating others as she had been treated. She hurt many people. She lied and cheated. She was a con artist with truth and rumor eventually merging together so the reality of many of the things that she did has been blurred. That being said, I personally witnessed many of the hateful things she did. Slowly but surely, she pushed everyone away from her. Many of us cut contact for our own protection. We were protecting our sanity and well-being, if not our physical well-being. Again, some of the stories did lead a few to believe that your physical health could be threatened if you remained involved with Mom Mom for any length of time.

Sometime around the middle of the 1990’s, my grandmother’s mind began to fade. She slowly had to rely on family to take care of her. Many of these people took advantage of her. Most of her personal possessions have long since gone missing. Much of the generosity that was shown to her was because of the belief that she had hidden wealth and items of value. If it had ever been there, most if it was gone by the time she was finally placed in the nursing home where she would spend her final 11 years. Many of the relatives that remained close to her have died. Others have moved on once they realized that there was no longer any money to be taken from her. Until my mom stepped in, I honestly believe that the previous relative taking care of her affairs was stealing whatever wasn’t taken for her nursing home costs from her social security checks. Even though Mom had been estranged from her for many years, when she heard of the treatment, Mom stepped in to at least see that Mom Mom was taken care of in her final years.

It has been just over 20 years since I last spoke with my grandmother. She was trying to con, and I emphasize con, me out of a rifle given to me when my grandfather died. From the time of my birth, my grandfather had said that he wanted me to have that rifle and I still have it. But she had other ideas and knew how much it meant to me. For me, that was the final straw. It has been even long since I had seen her.

Some distanced themselves before me and some distanced themselves after me. But eventually, my grandmother spent her final years, months, days, and hours alone.

I feel bad that I don’t feel bad, but with her passing I see directly, the truth behind the message in my first paragraph. My grandmother did indeed, reap what she had sown. I thank the nursing home workers that took care of her. I thank the hospice worker that was there with her during the final 20 minutes. However, she spent her final days with the harvest of the seeds she had sown so many years before.

Mom Mom, I thank you for a valuable lesson. Taught in the wrong way, but a valuable lesson, none the less. I loved you as a child, and even though you pushed me away like every one else, I loved you to the end. May you find peace in death that you never seemed to find in life.

If you are interested in a speaker for your company or group meeting, email me at lifelessonsbyeddy@yahoo.com. I can tailor a presentation for your group or I have several existing programs that remain popular. In the Houston and southeast Texas area, pending previous commitments, I might be available on fairly short notice. Outside of the Houston area, longer notice would be appreciated.

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